Day 5: Mindfully Coming Back to Myself

In my quest to create a sustainable and healthy lifestyle, most of my research has led me back to Mindfulness and Meditation. I’ve read a ton on the benefits of meditation and how it can help lower stress and anxiety (uhhh yes and please). Not only that, it helps improve sleep, digestion, relieves depression, helps you process emotions more effectively, and it makes you find your true self. I’ve listened to guided meditation and even use a few apps to get in my few minutes of relaxation, but the habit has yet to stick despite all the amazing benefits and no added sugar.   

One of my goals for 2015 is to create a lasting meditation practice that I can carry out far beyond this year alone. So far, I’ve meditated every day this year (yes I know it’s only 5 days in but it’s better than I’ve done before) and I can tell you that I’m kind of hooked on it right now. I get this electric buzz/current rushing through me after about 10 minutes. It’s like my whole body has come alive because I am getting closer to my true self. I find myself getting lost in my breath and feeling more centered and in control of my thoughts and emotions that ever before. Yesterday when I was meditating, there were a lot of distracting sounds and music, but I kept breathing and kept gently bringing myself back from wandering thoughts. It was a great lesson to learn; not every meditation session is going to be perfect, but that’s like life. You just have to keep on keeping on.

The thing I am most looking forward to finding and discovering through meditation is my true inner self. I feel like I have given so much of my heart and time to experiences and people that didn’t know what to do with it. It’s not their fault or mine for a shattered soul, but it’s made me a little more wary about sharing myself with anyone. I want to get back to the point where love pours out of me and I can’t help but give a little bit of myself to everything. I want to invest fully in every moment of my life without thinking that I will never get that part of me back. I want to be like the Source, to be infinite, to be all and one in the same.