I’m hurting today. Mentally and emotionally.
It’s just one of those Mondays where things go from bad to
worse to detrimental. It’s days like today where I have to constantly remind
myself to keep it together, to not lose my shit, to not cry, to not do
something drastic. It’s days like these that make me question over and over what the fuck am I doing with my only life?
I am so fucking miserable right now. I feel like I am
drowning. I can see the surface, but it’s like a hazy memory that I can’t seem
to fully recall no matter how hard I try. I am so sick of coming to a job every
single day that takes everything away from me. This is not the environment I
want to be a part of. I am done with wasting my life.
I feel like I am trying to numb myself a lot, especially at
work. I constantly am browsing online when I could be editing or writing. At
least I have my eating to a healthy place. Today I had cranberry oatmeal for
breakfast and a family size bag of steamed veggies for lunch, plus I went and
ran on the treadmill for 30 minutes on my break. #Score for fitness!
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