Monday, January 12, 2015

Day 12: Fuck Mondays

I’m hurting today. Mentally and emotionally.

It’s just one of those Mondays where things go from bad to worse to detrimental. It’s days like today where I have to constantly remind myself to keep it together, to not lose my shit, to not cry, to not do something drastic. It’s days like these that make me question over and over what the fuck am I doing with my only life?

I am so fucking miserable right now. I feel like I am drowning. I can see the surface, but it’s like a hazy memory that I can’t seem to fully recall no matter how hard I try. I am so sick of coming to a job every single day that takes everything away from me. This is not the environment I want to be a part of. I am done with wasting my life.

I feel like I am trying to numb myself a lot, especially at work. I constantly am browsing online when I could be editing or writing. At least I have my eating to a healthy place. Today I had cranberry oatmeal for breakfast and a family size bag of steamed veggies for lunch, plus I went and ran on the treadmill for 30 minutes on my break. #Score for fitness!


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