Day 13: Yes or No

When I get stressed at work because no one seems to have any respect for deadlines, I always tell myself it’ll either get done or it won’t. That’s really the only two options. It calms my nerves a bit to think about it in those black and white terms. It’s a yes or no. There’s no other path.

I used to think this way in high school when I would get nervous about an upcoming game. I would remind myself that no matter what someone will win and someone will lose. Tomorrow was still going to come around and the outcome would be one of the two options.

I still come back to this notion while I wait for opportunities, specifically right now about a new job. I’m anxious and nervous and excited and impatient. Sometimes the anticipation of the answer is worse than the outcome. But when I find myself getting all worked up over it I just think I will get the job or I won’t. Those are the only options. Either path will lead me somewhere new, whether it be a great new position or an entirely different one that wasn’t on my radar yet.

But no matter what happens, I control my reaction to it. I don’t fear rejection as much as I once did because I don’t give it any power. It is just one of the outcomes that is possible. It is neither good nor bad, it just is. When things don’t work out the way I want them to it’s usually for a specific reason, like something better is on the horizon or I really would not have been happy. It’s odd, but when things don’t work out, I’m grateful for it because I know there’s a reason behind it (even if I can’t see that reason for some time).

A small victory for me today: I was getting my oil changed and an older woman chose to sit right next to me, even though the place was completely empty and there were a ton of other seats. I chose to see it as an opportunity to strike up a conversation. We pleasantly chatted and laughed together. It was nice to push myself out of my comfort zone and interact with a stranger. She was really nice and it boosted my confidence to get out of my shy shell and participate in the world.